Hi,

let me put it straight, you should find the sound before you start putting the movie together. Why simple the sound defines in ur case when you have to change the pictures.

Second, the video takes only 44 secs, what is good. But if you look at it as a neutral person, you will find out nothing is transported

You begin with typing slowly FLOCK takes a long time 4 secs what means 10% of the whole thing
then a slide showing "Fedora Visits CHARLESTON" another 3 secs
another one where you even change the position of the key information "From 9th To 12th August" another 3 secs, to the chosen picture did you ever hear of the rule of thirds?
another one "Meet All Awesome Fedora People At The Same Place" 5secs
another "Over 100 Presentations" 2 secs
a strange word cloud 12 secs
another one "Be The Part This Journey" I am not native english speaker but this sounds even strange to me 4 secs
the last one with key information, including a typo 9 secs

I hope you made the last 9 secs because it contains that what shall be transported for an promotional video for flock the 5W, but I am still question why it gets so little space . Instead of the more important 5W there is a big blue sign ;)
So when everything what is important is on the last picture for what are all the others? Generally the information is reduced but is it really the minimum a viewer can recognize and keep over the time? Nope... watch some commercials they dont use 30 secs to hammering some unnecessary information to ur brain, they use the power video has they transporting a message via picture and then show only the ultimative information on the end.

so is the slow first one necessary? No
the information, Charleston on the second nope is redundant
the date on the third nope, redundant.

now the next two are that what should be transported "WHY SHOULD I GO TO FLOCK" so you should concentrate on that ;)
so the Meet-Picture, thats a right one nice people and friendly, about whats written on it, you should think a little bit more I dont think you will meet ALL Fedora people there.
The next picture is different, I am sure I am not the only one who think that must be a boring talk ;)
The word cloud is ok to show the topics but question urself, who shall read that all, so you can speed that up.

So concentrate on the why message and think not so much in text and simple put the important 5W on the end and you will have a nice promo video.

so that you see I am not only make critics https://vimeo.com/16255933 as its done in the same technique.

I hope it helps a little bit

br gnokii