So, I've been using email and lists for... 25+ years now.
For me personally (and I think many of the other survivors you mention) we have carefully tuned filters and email clients and can read/reply to lists with ease and forums are new and anoying because you have to read them with the interface the forum has instead of your trusty mail client.
That said, for everyone except us, mail lists are much worse for all the reasons you list.
I'm willing to try to learn new tricks and move things to discourse.
kevin